Sunday, January 13, 2008


There's no secret to balance. You just have to feel the waves.
-Frank Herbert

What an interesting thought. I certainly resist feeling them sometimes; while at other times I find it so easy. I guess that may be the point.
I had postpartum depression after my second child was born. I went on antidepressants and stayed on them for almost eight years. I went off of them after I went to an acupuncturist for treatment and haven’t taken them again. I do take some supplements from my naturopathic physician, but not the hard core stuff from before. Steve and I have talked a lot about that time in our lives and what we remember most is that the medication certainly took care of the downs, but it also flattened out the joys. It was and is our choice to deal with my waves in a natural way, with self care and supplements.
Taking or not taking medication is takes serious consideration, and the choice shouldn’t be made without sound medical advice. I saw psychiatrists, counselors and medical doctors before I made my decision. With Steve and my family’s support I work to take care of myself. I can’t play the martyr or the victim and stay healthy at the same time. I am the goddess in our family.
Everyone deserves self care. This is not a selfish act, even though some people view it that way. I see that if I don’t take care of myself I don’t have the reserves to take care of all the other people that I love and want to care for. I am also teaching those loved ones that it is not just ok, but very important to take care of one’s self. I always think about what flight attendants say at the beginning of every flight: “If you are travelling with someone who needs assistance, put your air mask on first so that you can then help the other person.”

Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got. -Janis Joplin


Backofpack said...

Ah, but the guilt. Is that a learned thing? I don't remember directions to put others first, but I do think my Mom modeled it. Somehow my role in our family was peacekeeper. Some of that probably came about after my three youngers siblings were born - I became the second mama. I've always been the caretaker - as you well know, I am even the mama of the running club. I am just now learning to feel okay about asking for what I want, for spending money on me. By this point it's an integral part of my personality to care for others, and probably led me to the job I have. I just want to learn to let go of my guilt and worries that someone might be unhappy. It's hard. It really bothers me when I think someone might be upset, and most of the time I have to be stern with myself to hold the course despite the upset.

Hmmmm...touched a chord here, didn't you?

CresceNet said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Steve said...

Are we due for a date?

Your number one fan

wendy said...

This is a really lovely post. Thank you for sharing!

DadsFirstBorn said...

Well said, well written! Great picture too! Definitely want to share this with my wife!